As often happens, we intend
to become one type of person, but because of circumstance become another. This
has been Naomi’s journey, mine, and maybe yours as well. I say that about us
because although we might make plans, life and the needs of others may cause us
to feel or force us to make other life choices. Having spoken with many women
over the years that gave up their dream, I can attest to the fact that though
the end result might look different than the one you intended, whether you are
other or self-centered, you will probably remain so unless you learn to
evaluate everything through a different lens. In Naomi’s story we see that the
girl, who left hearth and home to help her family, has now been appointed to
help everyone. One wonders: Can she do this while hiding who she is? Can she
reconcile herself to the situation she is in and find joy in doing for others
while she continues to deny herself? You might ask yourself these questions as you read today’s blog. God Bless!
The Text
Naomi
was finally able to leave the confines of the casa. Though she rushed
from citizenship classes to the market, visited Victor at immigration, and
allowed some married niñas to take her shopping for a wardrobe befitting
her new station, she savored her freedom. Yet as busy as her days were, the
time she valued most was her daily meeting with Madre Vida. There was
much for her to learn, and her American madre knew what and how to teach
her. Every night she and her mentor would have their meeting in the old woman’s
room while they ate their dinner together. Sometimes she was with her for
hours. At other times the old woman’s fragile health caused them to end their
sessions as soon as dinner was over. The time they spent together had a single
focus, to prepare the young woman for the world outside and the work she would
carry on. Though Naomi was grateful to be able to study to become a citizen,
she knew that what Madre Vida taught her would allow her to fulfill her
obligation. Although she wanted to understand all she was told, it never failed
that just as she began to grasp what the old woman was saying, Madre Vida would
wave her away. “That is enough for tonight. You think about what I have taught
and tomorrow you can tell me how you applied the lesson.”
“Are
you never pleased with me, Madre Vida?”
“My
child, I know the doctor told you everything about my condition so you know
this will most likely be my last spring.” The old woman wheezed. “I must do
everything I can to prepare you.” Naomi gasped. Madre Vida turned, locked eyes
with her, and willed her protégé to act, as she must. “When I was given charge
of Tía Esperanza’s affairs, little notice was taken of me. I was able to learn
as I went through the tasks of each day. But did you not notice the cunning
looks that crossed the faces
of our good padre and Mr. Martinez when they learned
that you were to become my own daughter? Surely, you could not judge, as I did,
that you may be in danger from the men I hoped would assist you. Learn what I
teach you so that you and our work will flourish. And you, in due time, will
find another to take your place. Remember, do not put your trust in men, but
trust in God alone.”
Naomi
nodded, aware that she had noticed these things. However, these concerns paled
when she thought of Madre Vida’s life ending. Do something to help Madre
Vida, she scolded herself. As she did, she knew there was nothing to do
except keep faith with the pledge she had made so she
forced a smile. “Do not worry, Madre Vida, I
will do as you have taught me.” Before she finished speaking the words, she
remembered herself as an adolescent telling her mamá in Spain Spain
Madre
Vida watched the telling play of emotions cross her daughter’s face. “I see that
you understand. Let us use our time to prepare you and give you what is
necessary for success. In success, there is much pleasure, especially when it
means the lives of the little niñas are changed. People you have never
met will have better lives because you helped these girls stay here. Is that
not something to strive toward?”
Eyes
alight with unshed tears, Naomi nodded and said, “Yes.” As she did, she found
herself rejoicing, Me, the girl who was a curse, now a blessing. What magic
is this?
“I
see that you understand.” Madre Vida glanced at her bedside clock. Aware that
this was her benefactors signal for her to say good night, Naomi stood, kissed
the old woman on the forehead, and left the room.
What
would it feel like to be a blessing? Naomi wondered while she walked
through the house. Would it be
evident to everyone? Or would it be like the last time mi mamá was with
child? Oh, do not draw attention to yourself. If you do, others will
discover you are a liar and a thief, she told herself, for though she had
agreed to become all her American madre was teaching her to be, she still
feared exposure.
Author’s Comment
It seems that no matter what
Naomi chooses, she, like us, finds herself at the crossroad of life. Fear lurks
on one side, and she might choose to live in fear because she has been schooled
in that reality. Each of us deal with choices sometimes daily, or
weekly, or yearly. The sum total of our choices colors our world, affects our
state of mind, and defines us.
Breaking free of the tyranny
of choice or the consequences there of have caused children to disown their
parents, adults to move so they can reinvent themselves, and (I believe) made some therapist wealthy.
When everything is rearranged
to our liking, underneath it all, we are still as we started out. For the
human condition draws us back to the familiar. Therefore, all I can
suggest, the only change agent that I know works, is putting our trust in God,
so I end with the three Scriptures below and pray that as you read them they
will speak to your need and bestow upon you Messiah’s Shalom, the peace that
transcends all understanding.
Isaiah 41:10 So
do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I
will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13 For
I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 43:1 But
now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel
0 Response to "Becoming a Blessing, by Paula Rose Michelson"
Post a Comment