~~~~~Reflective
Question
Has
your family faced a situation that made you believe you were the problem? If so you know more about Naomi’s state of mind than
most. If not, you will understand what I mean when you read a portion of Portia
Nelson’s Autobiography in Five Chapters. "I walk down the street. There is a deep
hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am hopeless. It is my fault. It
takes forever to get out. it isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I
don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it
isn’t my fault. Is still takes a long time to get out. I walk down the same
street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall
in…it’s a habit. My eyes are open; I know where I am: it is my fault. I …."
~~~~~~The
Text
When Naomi was young, her family had stayed in one
place. As she matured, it seemed to her that they moved from town to town. At
fourteen, which was well beyond the age when most took their first communion, she
looked at her image in her mamá’s chipped mirror, and noticed that her
looks were singularly different. My face carries the map of Israel
She searched for, and finally found, a way to correct
the situation. Eager to stop the guilt she felt for leaving without a word, she
consoled herself, When I go, my family will have a normal life. And when mi
tío and I have saved enough money, we will send for them. Whenever her
longing for her family became unbearable, she would remind herself, They are
better off without me. In the silence of her room, she would struggle to
stifle her feelings of loneliness, loss, and isolation. Whenever her desire to
contact her family overwhelmed her common sense, she would weigh the options
between the better life they had and the personal hardship she suffered. Then
she would shore up her resolve by reminding herself that only by leaving had
she been able to give them the life they deserved. She believed her misery to
be a small sacrifice to make for those she loved. Yet during Shabbat, the
Jewish Sabbath, when she took time to meet with God, she found no comfort. This
isolation and inability to fulfill my plan is what comes to those who pretend
to be what they are not—beloved of God.
She counted each day that passed and hoped that the
end of her obligation would hasten. Though her tía was kind to her, she
yearned to be free. As the months became years, she saw her dreams diminish while
Tía’s needs became her priority. Although the old woman had spoken to her about
the blooming process, now a few months shy of twenty, Naomi noticed no changes.
She was still the same size and had the same feelings, and longings.
However, as the end of her servitude drew near, she
experienced a surge of hope. Driven by her desire for freedom, she tried to
learn all she could about the outside world, which she felt ill prepared to
venture into since her tía, true to her word, had kept her hidden within
the house.
~~~~~~Authors Comment
This is Naomi’s Street.
~~~~~~Authors Question
What street are
you walking down?~~~~~Scriptural Insight
Psalm 119:104-106: I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.
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